How Not To Sell A Video Game

Bad video-game box art. Fans of bad art, rejoice!

Published in: Uncategorized on March 30, 2007 at 10:40 pm  Leave a Comment  

God Only Knows What I’d Be Without You…

My post today is kinda sappy and personal, but it needs to be written. It’s about my wife, Annie. My beloved Mrs. Dummy.

When we met, I was in danger of being a batchelor for the rest of my life. I am an incredibly shy person in real life, eschewing eye-contact whenever possible, etc. I’m not the kind of person who can easily go out and get a date, and bad luck used to rule the most casual contact with the opposite sex. I once farted in an empty book store, and a trio of pretty girls just happened to enter the store and walk right through my stink-cloud at that precise, mortifying moment. Laugh if you want to, I know I do… well now I do. My single life was plagued with events like that. And when I did finally date, I only had three girlfriends before my wife: two serious, one casual.

Have I made my point yet? Dating was hard for me. And after my last girlfriend I was not ready to date, and for a long time lived the single life without looking for a mate. A typical night for me consisted of staying up till 3 or 4 AM, eating a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, and playing “Xenogears” on my Playstation till my eyes were blurry. I was so desirable to the opposite sex, I’m sure.

Then, I met my wife, and it was literally love at first sight. I didn’t believe in that old cliche’, but it certainly was true for me at the moment I saw her the first time.


Published in: on March 30, 2007 at 9:15 pm  Comments (2)  

“Not ‘llama’. ‘Lama’!”

Just finished the first issue of my subscription to “High Adventure” (pub. by Adventure House), and I think it’s gonna be a blast. Every other month, stories and articles from a different, lesser-known pulp magazine are reprinted.

My first issue is #93, featuring content from a 1940 issue of “Double Detective” magazine. The main story featured The Green Lama, an oddball pulp hero. A mysterious blend of mystic and detective, he was really Buddhist tulku Dr. Pali, who was really idle rich playboy and Buddhist scholar Jethro Dumont (we’re never really told this, but c’mon… it’s painfully obvious). Clad (of course) in a green hooded robe, the Green Lama runs about chanting/whispering “Om! Ma-ni pad-me hum!”, karate chopping crooks in the vital nerve areas and skulking around spying on criminals. At one point he drinks a solution of “radioactive salts” that causes him to mildly immobilize and blind a captive by touch. It probably should’ve caused The Green Lama to throw up, but whatever… it’s the pulps. The character and his background seems to be an anomaly for the time. It seems unusual that a sympathetic, even knowledgable portrayal of Buddhism should appear during a time period which the average American was, let’s face it, not always tolerant of other cultures.

Upcoming issues are keeping with the “hero pulp” vein, and are to feature Captain Future (a space-going Doc Savage-type), Captain Zero (a guy who turns invisible at midnight… wha?), and The Black Bat (precursor to Daredevil and Batman). All the pulpy thrills… without the aging newsprint-smell, though :(. Oh well, can’t have it all.

Published in: on March 29, 2007 at 4:10 pm  Leave a Comment  

R.I.P. Marshall Rogers

I was tipped off to this by Christopher Mills’ blog.

Comic-book artist Marshall Rogers passed away on March 25. He was 57. His renditions of Batman are among the more recognizable in the world of comics, and he contributed unique work to Marvel’s black and white magazine line in the 1970’s. He will be missed by fans and the comics industry.

Marshall Rogers drew the first Shadow comic I ever owned.

(Above is the first Shadow comic I ever owned. Marshall Rogers pencilled the interiors and the cover. Though it was a brief, one-issue stint, his version of The Shadow helped define my own mental picture of the character.)

Published in: on March 28, 2007 at 2:54 pm  Leave a Comment  

Because Every Blog Needs These Links…

And because I can’t get enough of them.

Cocky, smug, a man in control of his destiny... Willi Shat.

Yesterday was William Shatner’s 76th birthday. Happy B-Day, Willie Shat!


It Was A Very Good Year.

Overview of a legendary singing career.

And, because Spock shouldn’t be left in the cold:

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

(Unfortunately, YouTube has removed Shatner’s live rendition of Pulp’s “Common People”. Fuckers.)

Published in: on March 23, 2007 at 2:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

Pulp Movies

As I’ve had pulp on the brain lately, I’ve come up with a hypothetical “Pulp Movie Festival” to be held one weekend when I have nothing to do but watch TV (housework be damned). If I were to do this, my wife would probably hold a reality TV festival the following weekend, but hey… give and take, y’know?

The following lists certainly contain some stinkers, but when you’re searching for pulpy flicks, beggers can’t be choosers. Also, I’m open to suggestions or comments regarding these or any film I might wish to consider. “Pulp Fiction”, by the way, is right out. That’s much closer to pulp paperbacks as discussed here.

Day 1- Saturday
Movies set in pulp’s heyday period (1920’s-1940’s)

-The Mummy (Never saw part 2.)
-The Phantom
-The Rocketeer
-Sky Captain & The World Of Tomorrow
-The Shadow
-Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze
-The Indiana Jones Trilogy (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade)
-King Kong (2005)

Day 2- Sunday
Pulpy movies set in a more modern time period (1980’s-2000’s)

-The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Across The 8th Dimension
-Big Trouble In Little China (These first two films are inextricably linked forever in my mind)
-Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins
-Batman Begins (Really a comic book movie, but Bats has always been at the line between pulp hero and comic hero)
-Lara Croft, Tomb Raider
-Lara Croft, Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life

(and, because my job causes every weekend to be a 3-day)

Day 3- Monday
Pulp-type movies made back in the day

-King Kong (1933)
-Dr. X (1932)
-Various movie serials made in the 1930’s and 40’s

And this last section is where I need the most input. If you’re reading this and have an old pulpy movie or a particular Saturday matinee-serial you think I should check out, let me know. I’ll make the popcorn.

Published in: on March 22, 2007 at 4:41 pm  Comments (5)  

Me and my Shadow: An Obsession

The Shadow.

For more than half my life, this character has been a part of me. Everywhere I go in life, he has gone, too. Even the dark time of my life, many years ago, when a string of heartbreaks forced me into my shell. The Shadow was still there, even if I thought I’d forgotten him: the pulps and reprints and comics peeking out from my book shelves, the stern gaze from his bust gazing down from across the room.

The Shadow bust

Some people have music, others turn to T.V. shows or movies when life beats on them. I have The Shadow. It’s weird how much a fictional character or universe can mean to someone, but I’ve discovered that the web is full of people like me, who have found comfort with
their fandom, whether it’s with Star Wars or the Muppets or Sherlock Holmes or whatever. And while there have been times that my interests would switch over to another character (Doc Savage or Batman, just to name two), it always has (and always will) come back to The Shadow.

But it hasn’t always been that way…


Published in: on March 16, 2007 at 10:49 pm  Comments (6)  

Oh, Lancelot!

A few days ago I mentioned that there aren’t enough cowboy monkeys. I realize also today that there aren’t enough monkey* psychedelic bands and secret agents in the world, too.

Sad, really.

(*By the way, I realize that these are apes and not monkeys, but it’s more fun to say “monkey”. Go ahead, say it. Monkey. Makes you smile, doesn’t it?)

Published in: on March 16, 2007 at 4:22 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Circle Turns Again…

Should I find it ironic that “Go away! ‘Batin!” has been superceded by “Kelly LeBrock” as the top search term that leads here?

Published in: on March 15, 2007 at 3:49 pm  Leave a Comment  

One last thing for today…

There just aren’t enough cowboy monkeys in the world, y’know?

Published in: on March 14, 2007 at 7:35 pm  Comments (2)