I Don’t Normally Talk Politics, But…

War is homo!


Published in: on February 23, 2007 at 4:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Weird Dream Number 2

(This is just a fragment of a longer dream. I had been dreaming for some time when this section happened, and I woke up right afterward.)

I was in a rainy city courtyard, filled with dumpsters and dead plants. One alleyway led off towards a street, and I could hear the sounds of traffic in that direction.

I was walking through this courtyard, when something over by the wall caught my attention. I walked over to see what the small bundle was, and discovered it was a prosthetic leg (from the knee down) clad in denim and wearing a ratty tennis shoe.


Published in: on February 22, 2007 at 7:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

Break Out The Cardboard Boxes And Philosophy Books

I've been smoking all day, just so I can sound this bad-ass!

A live-action Metal Gear Solid movie has been confirmed.


Published in: on February 21, 2007 at 10:47 pm  Comments (2)  

Flyboys: It’s Great-War-Tastic!

After numerous attempts to rent it, the video store finally had “Flyboys” in stock.

My mini-review: I didn’t do any research, so I don’t know if the real events that the movie is based on were as predictable and typical as the events in the movie.


The WWI dogfights are so fuckin’ AWESOME, it was worth the price of rental, and once it gets cheap enough, it’ll be worth the price of the DVD purchase. Good stuff, once the planes leave the ground, and I always like to see Jean Reno in any movie. I wish they’d do a “Leon / Professional” prequel, but he’s a bit too old now, probably.

Now, excuse me. There’s a pair of Fokkers diving out of the sun at me…

Published in: on February 21, 2007 at 4:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Circle Turns…

It’s official: “Go away! ‘Batin’!” has superceded “Miami Vice” as the #1 searched term that leads the unaware to my blog.

Sorry, folks. No sound bites of that line here.

Published in: on February 21, 2007 at 3:52 pm  Leave a Comment  

Fade To Gray

Beard Dye!

Beard dye. I refuse to use it.

I have had a goatee since my first girlfriend broke up with me waaaay back in 1995. Before that, I was clean-shaven. See what a heart-break can do? Turned me into “Evil Spock”.

Evil Spock!

My current permutation of facial hair I have come to call “the Shiwan Khan” (small mustaches at the corner of my lip, long, pointy goatee on my chin). I call it this as opposed to “the Fu Manchu”, because “Fu Manchu” now somehow means “gay biker mustache.” I’ll probably change it again soon, back to just the normal goat-stache combo.


Over the course of the last two years, I began to see them there on my chin.

Gray hairs.

At first, I wasn’t too concerned about them. I thought they looked “distinguished”. But lately, I’ve noticed that more people are calling me “sir”. I don’t get carded anymore when I buy my wife’s cigarettes.

I’m starting to look my age. And while I’m a guy and guys aren’t supposed to feel this way about getting older, it’s happening. I can’t deny it. Gotta live with it and move on.

And I’m kinda hoping my temples will get gray. Then I’ll take up smoking cigars, maybe lose an eye. Then, who knows…

Nick Fury!

Published in: on February 15, 2007 at 4:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

“Awwwww” (or “Ewwwww”, depending on your viewpoint)

Teddy Bears

Happy Valentine’s Day, Annie.

Published in: on February 14, 2007 at 5:28 pm  Comments (4)  


Reading a new copy of The Shadow pulp reprints, I came across an article about the peculiar state of The Shadow’s identity crisis. This turned my mind to one of the strangest cases in the Professional Dummy’s files: The Case of the Doppelganger.

You see, in the radio show that most people know him from, The Shadow was “in reality Lamont Cranston, wealthy young man about town.” Standard superhero stuff, really. Yet in the pulp magazines that gave birth to the character, things were much more complicated. Here, The Shadow only seemed to be Cranston for a short time, until it was revealed that he was only using Cranston’s identity, while the real idle-rich playboy was out of the country. Eventually, it was revealed that The Shadow was really WWI flying ace and master spy Kent Allard, who looked enough like Cranston pass as him and to fool his friends and acquaintances.

Far-flung pulp fantasy, right? Sheer “only-in-the-funnybooks” coincidence, right?



Published in: on February 13, 2007 at 6:46 pm  Comments (4)  

Beating A Dead Horse, But…

Nobody asked for it, but here’s my two cents:

Tick tick tick...

Yep. Bomb. For sure.

Published in: on February 9, 2007 at 4:50 pm  Leave a Comment  

Revamped Dummy

Obviously, I’ve made a change here at Professional Dummy. I’ve always wanted my blog to look a bit “bookish”, even if I’m talking about snot or Miami Vice (which is the #1 searched term that leads people here), and this is a better look for me. Any comments?
I'm sorry if I'm a little late, my walk has become rather silly lately.

In the meantime, I will miss the above picture of John Cleese from the Monty Python “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch. The image of an incurably bizarre person forced into a stuffed-shirt role always seemed a bit close to home for me. I’m sure he’ll be around here still from time to time.

Published in: on February 8, 2007 at 11:12 pm  Leave a Comment